FINALLY!

by Cathryn Hendel.

Finally got to meet my hero on Sept. 19th after the Chronicle Pavilion Show.  I'm talking about Mr. Graham Nash here.  This was wonderful for obvious reasons, but especially because of the terrorist tragedy and the death of my father on Aug. 20th.  It was the second time I was to meet Graham, the first never happened.

I first made contact with Graham shortly after he broke his legs.  I sent him a gift of healing and I got a Thank you from him.  I was major jazzed, I had his e-dress!!  Ever since, I have written to him now and then and most of the time, have gotten a reply.  I have a whole thick
stack of our ongoing dialog.  When the CSN2K1 shows were announced I was so excited and managed to snag some centre, row 11 seats.  Heaven!!  I wrote Graham that I would be there and wondered if he was willing to arrange a meeting for us.  He said he would take care of it.  Heaven again!  He never did tell me how I would get the Passes but I figured if it worked out they would be at will call.  So, tickets in hand trying not to get my hopes up too high, I steeled myself and approached 'the window'.  The passes AND two tickets were there with MY NAME ON THEM!! YES!  I about fainted, literally!  We had already gotten in with our
tickets, now we had a second set.  Well, we decided to sit in which ever seats were best.  Low and behold, the seats were literally across the isle from each other!  We of course took the ones closest to centre which just happened to be the ones I bought.  Another couple sitting next to us heard our 'predicament' and asked if their friends, who were a ways away could sit in our extras with them.  No problem, we were all happy campers.

The show was awesome and we enjoyed every minute of it, gee, what a surprise! It was so cool knowing that soon we would actually be back stage with such an incredible person.  My knees were shaking and yep, I was pretty high on naturals, one liquid and the other, green....  But we made it!  While waiting for my name to be called to enter the 'dungeon', we visited with other fans and a bit with Michael Finnigan.  I had met him before but he didn't remember me, oh well.  Then Graham's road manager, Bill, called my name and off we went down the stairs to a
narrow hall way with small rooms off to the sides.  There was Graham having a glass of red wine, with his hand stretched out to greet me.  We exchanged nice to meet you(s), but that wasn't enough for me!  This was my BIG chance and I was going to get every little bit out of it I could, so I said, "A handshake isn't enough" and asked for a hug.  I got one!  We took pictures and chatted a bit more. Found out his daughter, Nile, and I have the same birthday.  That one blew me away!   In the mean time, some idiot (my husband, bless his heart) had set a drink down on the floor to take pictures, and I kicked it over making an awful mess! Gasp!  Graham said 'Good one Cathryn' and I was pretty embarrassed but still determined to hang in there.  I brought gifts for Graham, (Angels) and a few extra just in case...  Good thing too, because just in case happened!  David and Stephen were hanging out right by us and I wasn't about to let that pass.  I approached them each separately, introduced myself and asked if they would accept a gift from me.  David said, "It's not drugs, is it?"  of course not, I reassured him, I was keeping those for myself...  I asked him to share with Jan and he said he shares everything with Jan.  I knew that...  Then Stephen comes by and I walk up to him and say hi.  He looked at me like I was from Mars or something.  I asked then, if I could give him a gift, he paused and said "I guess so."  He opened his Angel and asked if Graham had one of them. I said ' Yes, he has seven.'  He keeps them by his computer at home and
I guess Stephen had seen them.  SS thanked me and said that he could really use an Angel at this point in his life, but that one was enough for him.  Good feelings all around so I went for it and asked Stephen for a hug.  Again, that what are you, crazy? look flashed across his face and then he said laughingly, "Why not, everyone can use more hugs."  What an unexpected pleasure!  I was really on a roll now, so I decided to go all out and asked Graham if I could kiss him.  After a short pause, we both leaned forward and IT happened, we actually kissed!  My lips and spirit were very happy!  To top things off, Bill came up to me and said, "Graham wanted you to have this."  He handed me a little piece of plastic and I had no idea what it was, barely looked at it and stuffed it in my pocket with a polite thank you.  After about 20 minutes of hobnobbing, it was over.  Time to get the show on the road as Graham put it.  They had 600 miles to go that night.  Thank you and good byes abounded and we emerged from the 'tunnel' in a blissful state.  Joe Vitale was there too and I tapped him on the shoulder, smiled, flashed him a peace sign and kept on walking. I had met him before also.  Don't think he remembered me either but I didn't care.  I had just been with Graham and the guys and nothing else mattered at the time.  Only then did I retrieve the bit of plastic from my pocket, it
was the guitar pick Graham used for the show!  What a great way to end the evening.  I feel very lucky to have had that night.  I will always cherish it.  Dreams can and do sometimes, come true!

I will admit to not being a fan for all that long, but in the year that I have been, the wait to see these guys perform has been long and painful!  My interest in Crosby, Stills & Nash began back in February of 2000 when I first saw Graham on a television program. 

I was immediately interested in him and his music, but held off really exploring his music until the summer.  At this point I casually mentioned to my friend while we were on a weekend trip up north that I saw Graham on TV.  He then informed me that Graham had been a member of the Hollies, and we just so happened to have some CDs with us.  So that entire weekend we spent listening to the same 3 CD set.

As soon as I got back from that weekend, I immediately went out and bought the CSN Biography, and the CSN Boxed Set, along with After the Storm (which I happen to love!).  Soon all things CSN started popping up…..It was August and so A&E was airing David’s Biography, Woodstock was getting a lot of airtime, and I found the Lee Shore.

When I found out that I had missed the CSNY2K tour by only a few months, I was devastated! 

But soon there was talk of the three of them touring again, and my hope was restored!

I also decided to do something that I have never done before.  I wrote a letter to Graham.  Never had I felt so compelled to write a fan letter before, especially to a musician.  My life revolves around music, and my adoration for certain musicians can be somewhat overpowering at times.  So to be able to express my emotions to someone who has touched a part of my life-  a part that only a few can even reach- was a thrilling and yet very terrifying experience!  I mailed it off to him with it coming back to me a few times, and I even obtained his email address that I wrote to twice with no response.  But I didn’t really expect to hear from him…I’m just a crazed girl fan, right?

But my reason for sending him that letter was just so that he could know how important his music was to me.  I didn’t want anything more from him except maybe some more music J

For the 2001 tour, I was able to get 4^th row seats to the opening show!  This was more than I could have hoped for.  My very first CSN experience and I was practically going to be able to see them sweat!  When they came out on stage it was incredible.  I couldn’t believe that I was actually there, watching 3 men that I admire and adore.  And of course, since it was Graham who got me into the music in the first place, he is the one that holds that special place in my heart, and the one that I was in most awe of. 

I was sitting just left of the center, and was on Stephen’s side of the stage.  It was so amazing to see him play and watch his fingers move with so much ease!  I’m more of a voice girl than I am a guitar girl, but I must say that I was very impressed! 

I thought that the three of them sounded great together.  I have to admit to being a little worried that they wouldn’t harmonize as well, and that the set list would be disappointing……but none of that happened!  Maybe I was just so stunned and overwhelmed at being there that I would have enjoyed anything that came from the stage, but judging by the crowd and those around me, the guys were right on and seemed to be having fun. 

I snuck my camera in with me and was able to get quite a few pictures.  They turned out reasonably well, considering it was just a regular camera, and I didn’t use a flash.  Most of my pictures are of Graham (well of course!), and a couple of Stephen, but it was extremely hard to get any good ones of David since he was on the opposite side of the stage as I was sitting.  But he always seemed to get in a couple shots in the background!  (Permission to say something completely girly??  David has beautiful eyes!  Pictures don’t do them justice!  I was sitting far away and I could still tell they were beautiful!) 

Before I left my house to get to the show, I decided to do an extremely cheesy, embarrassing thing……….I reprinted my letter to Graham and put it in a small manila envelope with his name on it.  And yes, I was actually thinking that if the opportunity arose, I would try and give him my letter personally.  Keep in mind, I never imagined this would happen.  I felt like a freak then, and I feel like a freak now J

But it did happen!  All the people around me knew I had this letter to give to Graham.  And they were all pulling for me.  In fact, I even gave it to someone in the front row to give to him, but Graham and even Stephen never came close enough to take anything from the fans.  Near the end of the show, I gave up trying to give it to him, because, honestly, I felt like a fool.  Here I am, this young girl (yes I am already in my late 20’s!) with a fan letter.  It’s not like it was imperative that I give it to him, but I did want him to know that his music can still attract people, and he can still touch hearts. 

Right before the first encore, the group of people around me talked me into hopping over 3 rows of chairs and getting me into the front row.  What a site that must have been to see!  But I do need to thank all the guys that pulled me over the seats and all the women who shared in my excitement! 

During Wooden Ships, the first song of the first encore, each time Graham would come close to us I would timidly raise my envelope.  Oh how completely humiliated I was!  If I had stopped to think about what I was really doing at the time, I know that I would not be here right now writing this story to you.  But the women around me kept telling me to keep going and that it wasn’t silly at all (I’m not so sure I agree with them anymore *g*). 

Near the end of the song, Graham walked toward us again, and this time he was playing his guitar but was not in the spotlight.  When he neared us he looked right at me!  I held up my envelope and made a gesture to let him know it was for him.  He looked at me and I could hear him tell me to hold on a minute.  I smiled and said, “Of course.” And held up my finger to say that I would wait 1 minute, and I think I even gave him a thumbs up J 

Then…..I really do believe that he winked at me!  Or else he smiled and his eyes kind of squinted and it just looked like a wink, but let’s just humour me a little bit and say that he winked, ok? 

At this point I was kind of lost and couldn’t believe that he was actually going to come take this from me.  I immediately felt like I made a mistake, and once again felt like a 10 year old fawning after Justin Timberlake or someone like that.  But I was stuck.  I couldn’t back off now. 

After they finished the song, Graham came up to me, and actually turned some people away, making a gesture that said that he had to take care of this first.  He reached out to get the envelope, and he said, “Thank you,” and looked at what I had written on the envelope (just his name), and I said thank you back to him.

It was just a quick moment, but it was a moment. 

AND the people that were behind me actually got a picture of it taking place!   

It was an awesome moment for me.  And even though I still feel freaky and cheesy, at least now I know that Graham read my letter, and that my words are not lost in the mail somewhere or decomposing in a garbage pit J 

It was a wonderful night for me.  A first experience that, although made me feel like a child, was accurate because I was giddy and happy just like a child…..so I guess it is appropriate for me to have felt that way!!

I was fortunate enough to attend my second CSN2K1 show on August 26th at the Hershey Star Pavilion...front row seat just off center, thanks to Big D! Just like in Pittsburgh, David, Stephen and Graham were on fire again! The music was great and you could tell that they are having a lot of fun on this tour. Got to hear Faith In Me which they didn't do in Pittsburgh. Thought that Dark Star sounded even better this time around and of course, they nailed Guinnevere which David dedicated to Jan. One guy from the audience yelled out I love you David, to which David replied, thanks, but I like hearing that better from a woman, but I'll take what I can get! All in all it was a wonderful evening, Mother Nature cooperated by giving us a beautiful night, and the boys provided us with incredibly beautiful music! At the end of the show, Joe Vitale threw a towel to the audience and yes, yours truly got it! Not sure what I'll do with it, but it's still a nice memento. The only sad part was knowing that this was the last I would hear them until the next tour.

As great as the concert was, it was also pretty special meeting some very nice fellow CSN fans. Special thanks goes to Big D and Carol who graciously opened their home to us and made us feel very welcome...the man also makes a pretty mean boli! Also got to meet Lorraine and finally tell her face to face what a fantastic job she does with this site. It was definitely a pleasure to meet her. I also enjoyed meeting Bob & Sara, Vinny and Helen, Lynn, Deb, Joyce, Kathy and Jim. Thanks to all of you for including this newcomer in your group. It was an honor sharing a concert with all of you!

Well, guess I now have to wait until the next tour...or maybe a Graham Nash solo tour in the spring????? (OK, a girl can wish can't she?)

Fran